Tag Archives: family

5 Reasons Your Siblings Are Your Best Friends

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45454_10200741088638316_355859828_nIt’s December 23, 1974.  A mother goes into labor and is rushed to the hospital by her husband.  Her due date was in the vicinity of the first week of January.  She was a bit nervous because she was a couple of weeks early.  The mother is rushed into the delivery room and the father sat in the waiting room with the other nail-biting, expecting fathers.  In those days Dads waited with everyone else in the waiting room.

The time comes to deliver the baby and out comes a crying baby girl with blonde hair.  Delivery nurses hustle about taking care of the baby while the doctor tends to the mother.  Suddenly, the doctor exclaims in a very surprised voice, “Nobody move!  She’s still too fat!  She’s having another baby”.  A nurse continues to work on the first baby and seven minutes later the chaos erupts again as a second baby girl, this one with brown hair, is born.  While baby #2 is being taken care of, a nurse goes to the waiting room door and holds up 2 fingers to the anxiously waiting father.  Being 1974, he says, “Yeah Peace.  But, how is my wife?” not realizing the nurse was signaling two babies, not the peace sign.  You see, back then sonograms did not exist; if they did they were not in tiny town hospitals.  This mom and dad were told they were to have one big baby boy the first week in January.  Two days before Christmas they were surprised with twin girls!  And, that’s the story of how I was brought into this fascinating world… I was surprise baby #2!

My twin sister and I also have a sister who is two and a half years older than us.  Although we all live states away from each other and could not be more different from one sister to the next, we are blood; we are sisters.  Even though at times it may not seem like it, we are best friends.  The old saying says you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.  To me, family is the most important part of life.  Every family has their issues no matter how polished they look from the outside.  My sisters and I come from an incredibly large extended family.  And, with that, comes issues.  But, I would not change one bit about our family, especially my siblings.  I did not pick my siblings, but I think God did a pretty darn good job at picking them for me.  I believe there are five reasons why our siblings are our best friends… no matter how good or bad the relationship is.

 

  1. They will tell you to snap out of it when most others will definitely not.  When life is not going your way and you continue to let it, your siblings will give you a kick in the butt with the big boot of reality you need to snap out of it.  They do not want to see you struggle and will not allow you to wallow in self-pity.  They do it because they love you.
  2. They will be brutally honest with you. “No, your shoes do not match your handbag.”  “That tie with that shirt?  No way, brother!”  “Your breath stinks; have a TicTac.”  “You have spinach in your teeth.”  And, maybe the most brutal… “I’m concerned about your weight/health.”  Your best friend would never let you walk around with bad fashion, bad breath, or something stuck in your teeth.  Your best friend definitely cares for your health and well-being.  They say all this because they love you.
  3. They have your back no matter what.  When times are tough, when times are good, when people are being kind, when people are being unkind… your siblings have your back.  If you and your sibling had unfriendly words in recent times and someone else is treating your sibling disrespectfully, you will jump in and have their back regardless.  They do it because they love you.
  4. They accept you for being YOU even though you may not sometimes.  It can be hard to look in the mirror and say to yourself, “Yes, this is who I am.”  You may wish you had a different body type.  You may wish you could be more of a morning person.  You may wish you had an outgoing personality and not so introverted.  You may be the person who had a hard time accepting your sexuality earlier in life.  Your siblings accept all of this about you because they love you.
  5. They love you unconditionally.  We all have things we wish we could change or do better.  We have things in our lives that we are proud of.  Life can be difficult, but it can also be absolutely amazing.  Through it all our siblings are our best friends because they love us unconditionally.

I am proud of my siblings.  We each have traits and abilities that make us unique.  All three of us are so incredibly different.  The one thing we all do have in common is we would turn the world inside out to help one another in times of need or trouble.  We would do it because we love each other.

Stop It and Refocus

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I love technology.  My home office, or Mission Control as I call it, consists of two cell phones, an iPad with a bluetooth keyboard, a MacBook, and a bluetooth printer and let’s not leave out the music system with four iPods to choose the tunes of the day from.  The cell phones are Apple products, which means all devices are keeping up with each other.  Everything runs at the same time with me jumping from one to the next so smoothly resembling a ballerina gliding across the stage.  Well, maybe not that smoothly, but you get the point.  I, of course, can justify this madness with a long dissertation on why all of this is necessary in order for me to be productive.  I have rehearsed it and given the speech numerous times.  Some people buy it and others just think I am nuts.  In either case, I have all of this stuff to refer to, glare into, research and process from, waste time with, and be entertained by.  Now, I know I am not alone in this.  Face it.  You have these things, as well; maybe not as much as I do or maybe you have even more.  But, stick with me because I need to shift gears for a moment.

When I talk with people who are either thinking about getting into running or they are struggling to keep their motivation to run, I always come back to the same question.  What is your “Y” factor?  What I mean is, what is it deep down inside of you that is the reason why you want to run, walk, exercise, get healthier?  When we can figure that out, it then becomes the reason why we get out of bed an hour earlier a few days a week and hit the pavement.  I will now return to my regularly schedule article…

The question becomes, what is the “Y” factor behind having all this stuff?  Do we REALLY need it?  I say, to a certain extent, yes we do.  Let’s face it, it’s the way of the world.  Technology is an important aspect of the work place.  I know only one man who continues to use an old-fashioned typewriter.  He sits on his front porch typing away.  People marvel at it as they walk by and hear the click clack of him composing a letter to someone!  He is a retired journalism professor who will absolutely not convert to the new technology.  He does not have to, need to and, most definitely, does not want to.  However, I work quite often out of my home and require the use of modern technology.  I do not have a landline phone in my home because a cell phone will suffice and it is pretty much always glued to my hip.  Do I NEED two of them, probably not.  However, I justify it by saying one is my personal phone and the other is my business phone, which of course I can write off as a business expense.  This explanation seems to be enough for most people.  Do I NEED to have the iPad and MacBook going at the same time?  Most of the time I do not, but it looks really cool.  Do I NEED to have the music?  Absolutely! Music helps me stay focused.  But, do I need four iPods?  No, but they were gifts and I do not want to seem ungrateful, therefore I use each one of them.  I 100% believe I am not alone is this technology overload.  In fact, if I look hard enough, I am certain I can find a support group for all of us who are in the same boat.  However, here is the big problem.  All of this “stuff” is keeping us from living right.  I’ll explain.

The other day I watched a person walk square into a street sign.  SLAM!  They never saw it coming.  They had their head down and their eyes were immersed in something that I am certain was crucial to attend to straight away on their cell phone.  Admittedly, I giggled a little.  Sorry, but it was funny!  Anyway… Instead of learning from the incident and taking their head out of their phone to watch where they were going, they went straight back to doing what they were doing before the street sign so rudely jumped out in front of them.  I am sure you have seen something similar to this before.  The next time you have a few extra minutes to take a step back and observe the people around you, count how many people have their head down in a piece of technology.

I am a firm believer in eye contact.  It has become a thing of the past in public, especially when walking down the street, around the mall, etc.  Not only is it being polite, but making eye contact with someone is a sign of confidence.  It is a safety mechanism.  It shows strength.  As someone who has been in martial arts for thirty years, I can tell you it is one of the first things I teach and a first line of defense.  So, if for no other reason, for the love of God people take your head out of your phone when you are walking around in public!  Here ends the lesson…

Technology has brought about a new dislike for human kind, a hatefulness if you will.  The world we live in is full of all sorts of ugliness that is being fed or brought about in part because of technology.  We have instant access to things that happen around the globe.  Ugliness is what seems to sell stories more now than ever.  It has become so bad that titles to articles can stir the ugly pot even when the actual article talks about something completely the opposite.  As a society, we have become a new kind of lazy and quick to react.  By lazy I mean we read an article title on social media, it gets us fired up, we make a comment and express our dislike for the situation all without actually reading the article.  Read the article?  We don’t have time for that.  The title gave us the information we need, right?  It never fails!  There is always someone who then tries to defend the article because they actually read it.  Name calling ensues.  They refer to the ones who clearly didn’t the read article as stupid, ignorant and, most often, use other very ugly, salty language to describe the persons level of intellect.  And, without fail, the bickering begins and the point of the article is completely lost because everyone is compelled to defend their view of the topic and sling a few distasteful words and special names back.  All of this takes place like a school fight on the playground between eight year olds.

Think back to a time when social media did not exist.  We got our dose of news from the newspaper (the actual newspaper, not on-line) and the morning or evening news.  If something happened across the country, we didn’t hear about it until the news broadcast informed us about it.  If we didn’t like what we were hearing or reading we didn’t have the ability to hide behind a computer screen and write very hateful, hurtful comments and essentially pick fights with people.  Technology has brought about a new kind of defense and not in a good way.  I often wonder if these people who are fighting via the safety of their technological devices, would they have the nerve to actually say these awful things to the others face to face?

So, my point to all of this is we need to stop it and refocus.  We need to refocus our priorities in life.  We need to stop being so ugly toward each other.  I have had to attend more funerals in my life than I care to count for people who were struck down by cancer, strokes, heart attacks, suicide… all great people who deserved a long, happy, loving life.  We live in a much more complex world now than it was 30 years ago.  Technology can bring about so many good things in our world.  Helping to find a cure for cancer is one that comes to mind.  But, are you using it for good or for ugliness?  There are so many problems facing the world today.  Rather than adding to the problems, figure out how you can be part of the solution.  The solution may be as simple as not making the comment on the social media article you are just itching to post.  T.H.I.N.K.!  Is what you want to say, True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?  If not, let it go.  Because in the grand scheme of things, in the entirety of your life, what does it all really matter?  What difference is it going to have on your day and your life if you make the ugly comment you are thinking in your mind.  Instead of putting it out there for the world to see and quite possibly you being judged as one of those nasty names others are calling people, write it down on a piece of paper.  Go ahead and get it off your chest.  Read it over a couple of times, then crumple it up and toss it out.  Once you have done that evaluate the situation.  How do you feel about the ugly thoughts you had?  Did any of it add value to your day and your life?  Refocus!

Take a few minutes and figure out what it is that is truly important in your life.  What value or contribution are you making to the lives around you?  Are you happy with your life?  If not, stop blaming people, places and things and make the changes you need to make in order to be happy. Bob Marley said exactly that. “Open your eyes, look within.  Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”  Be the change you wish to see in the world around you and try to make a difference in someone else’s life.  One more music quote and I’m finished..  I promise.  Stevie Wonder, “Love’s In Need of Love Today”.  The song is about love in modern times and how the word and meaning of love seems to have faded.  It implores people to give love to love, to stop the hate.

“The force of evil plans
To make you its possession
And it will if we let it
Destroy every-body
We all must take
Precautionary measures
If love and peace you treasure
Then you’ll hear me when I say

Love’s in need of love today
Don’t delay
Send yours in right away
Hate’s goin’ round
Breaking many hearts
Stop it please
Before it’s gone too far”

Your Mantra

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Mantra is a mind projection created in either a spoken or mental manner. Mantras can be a word, phrase, syllable or sound. They can be recited, sung or repeated silently in the mind. It is a technique for regulating the mind. There are many mantras each one having its own quality, rhythm, and effect. For thousands of years, mystics, meditators and yogis have used mantras for mental and spiritual transformation.  If you search the web you will find web site on top of web site full of inspirational and motivating quotes; mantras, if you will.  Well… here begins the story of Pink Nation and our mantra.

“In rodeo, to ‘cowboy up’ means to suck it up in times of adversity and carry on when you are injured or down and the prospect of doing whatever you’re about to try is so bleak that the best you can hope for is to live through it.” ~ Tuff Hedeman, World Champion Bull Rider

Mantra: any sacred word or syllable used as an object of concentration and embodying some aspect of spiritual power.  I am a proud card-carrying member of the Pink Nation Marathon Training Team.  We begin our “family reunion” each year in June.  We hold “church” each Sunday morning to get our sweat on and push ourselves towards a goal in November that most would never even consider attempting… start and finish 26.2 miles.  We have a phrase we use when faced with adversity when we head out for training runs, during our lives and especially on race day when we set out to conquer 26.2 miles. Our mantra is “All Go, No Quit, COWBOY UP“. 

You see, Pink Nation is not just a running training team; it’s a family.  We take care of each other and look out for each other.  We welcome new members into our family every year in June.  When one of us has a tough road ahead in any aspect of our life, team members shout our mantra from the roof tops (well comment on social media and other forms of communication, but you get the point).  Throughout the year many members of Pink Nation take part in other races around the stated and even throughout the country; races of varying distances.  No matter the length of the race team members are always there with a rousing “All Go, No Quit, COWBOY UP“.  It sticks in your head.  It becomes your “wingman” never leaving your side during a race.  When you are feeling beat up it is comforting knowing there are people out there who know just what to say to make you suck it up and keep pushing ahead. They know what to say that makes you not quit.

We all need a kick in the butt every now and then to keep us pushing forward in life, in work, and in reaching goals of all kinds.  What is your mantra?  Do you have a phrase that keeps you going? What gives you the kick in the butt you sometimes need to “get through it”, to make it across whatever finish line lies ahead of you?  If you do not have a mantra, I think it would be okay with my fellow Pink Nation family members if you borrowed ours.  But, be careful as it is a powerful phrase.  There’s no telling what you might accomplish once you use it.  “All Go, No Quit, COWBOY UP“, my friends. 

Noise and Yucky Stuff

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Remember the good old days? Chalk boards and clapping erasers outside after school, rotary dial phones, the world before video games and entertaining yourself by playing outside, 8-tracks, tapes, records, and reel-to-reel video, slide shows were actual square, paper frames with film in between them, TV Dinners, the world before TV (for some of my readers)… We could go on and on. With all that’s happening in our world, I like to sit back and think of simpler, kinder times. When I was growing up the worst thing I had to worry about was getting a flat tire on my bicycle during the 3.5 mile ride home from playing tennis. That meant I would have to walk the rest of the way home. There wasn’t such a thing as a cell phone to use to call home and have someone come pick me up. Times have changed.

The world seems to be in a big hurry and has become cluttered with “noise” and “yucky stuff”. Homes are filled with multiple televisions, a couple of computers, tablets and iPads, cell phones, and iPods. Not to mention, the constant bombardment of noise and yucky stuff from television and social media that inundates our lives. It is impossible to watch a news broadcast and not hear about tragedies of some kind. Most often, it seems like the entire broadcast is informing us of terrible things happening around us. Let us not forget how much divorce attorneys love social media for the stories, status updates and pictures. Like I said, noise and yucky stuff.

As I sit here outside with a slight breeze blowing, birds chirping and a view of the water just beyond to screen of my laptop, I have come to realize more than ever how important it is to get rid of the noise and yucky stuff now and then. Unplug all of the electronics. Breathe in the fresh air, look up at the nature that surrounds you, appreciate the simple things again. A month ago I did just that. I unplugged. I unplugged for two days and returned to a simpler life for the weekend. Admittedly, it was not easy at first. I kept reaching for my iPad to see what everyone was up to on all of the social media sites. I kept wanting to pick up my phone to do anything other than make a phone call. Remember when a phone was meant for phone calls and that was all? As time went on though, I found myself enjoying my time without the noise and yucky stuff. I picked up a book, not an electronic version of it, but an actual paperback, went outside, sat in my chair and read. I finished a number of chapters and thought it had only been a short time. I came to realize that I had been outside enjoying my book in my favorite chair, with my puppy next to me for two and a half hours. Time seemed to stand still.

The weekend was a success. I made it through the weekend without Facebook, Twitter, my blog, my laptop and iPad, and using my cell phone only for calls that came in and the Sunday morning call to my parents. Unplugging is now a regular practice of mine. So, I challenge you to give it a try. There is too much noise and yucky stuff in the world and around us every day. We must take it upon ourselves to slow down, unplug, clear our minds, and enjoy the simpler things in life. Get your head out of your electronics and enjoy your family. Have actual conversations with each other. Go outside. Enjoy your surroundings. Breathe in the fresh air. Get away from the noise and yucky stuff for a while. You will be amazed by the impact it has on your overall being. Most importantly turn off the noise and yucky stuff to enjoy life!

Man’s Best Friend

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“The faithful dog – why should I strive

 To speak his merits, while they live

In every breast, and man’s best friend

Does often at his heels attend.”

The New-York Literary Journal, Volume 4, 1821

On the day of my puppy dog’s 7th birthday, I am inspired to chat about Man’s Best Friend. The following words come from a summation speech given by an attorney representing a man who was suing for damages after his dog, Old Drum, was shot and killed: “The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him and the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous is his dog.” (1870 Warrensburg, Missouri, George Graham Vest).

How many of us can say they have or had a dog who helped them get through some really tough times? I know I can! They know when we are happy. They know when we are sad, sick, angry, and had a tough day. They can sense our emotions and feed off our moods. Dogs have a brand of loyalty that is very unique. Dogs are used in therapeutic situations and to comfort the terminally ill. We hear stories of how families have been saved by their dogs when their homes caught fire. You’ve all heard this one: A family dog gets displaced from his or her family on a vacation and miraculously makes its way all the way back home to his or her family on their own. It’s a connection that amazes all. The connection to their human family through their senses is incredible. Their expressions are mesmerizing at times.

Dogs have incredibly expressive eyes. I often wonder what Maddie is thinking when she looks at me with her big, brown eyes. I often think how great it would be if she could speak English… what great things she would have to say! Recently, Maddie lost two of her best friends. The sadness that her eyes showed was heartbreaking. When she is happy her eyes light up like a Christmas tree. You can see all of her moods and intentions in her eyes. Does she want to play, go to bed, go outside to lounge around, go outside to go potty, snuggle? What kind of mood is she in? Her eyes tell all.

Your dog’s manners are a reflection of you. And your manners may well influence how others see your puppy. I was brought up in a family that insisted on proper manners. This included everything from the dinner table to calling adults Mr. or Mrs. to using Aunt or Uncle when addressing your relatives. Please and thank you were, and still are, a must. We said grace before family dinners. My friends and family can attest that my Maddie has manners. She says her prayers, says grace, yes please, yes ma’am. She does not beg for food at the dinner table. (Yes, I am bragging just a bit about my four legged child!) When I tell her to focus, her eyes are glued on me ready for what I am about to say. I have taught Maddie proper manners as I would my own child. I am someone who loves to have fun with my friends and family. I am a very active outdoors person. Likewise, Maddie is a very playful, fun loving dog. She loves the water (as do I). She loves to run (as do I). She loves fire pit movie night (as do I). She loves children (as do I). Yes, she is a reflection of me and my world.

So, on this day I celebrate the birthday of my puppy dog. I can’t imagine the past seven years without her. Maddie and I have been through so much together, good and bad. She has helped me and I have helped her. Maddie is my absolute best friend! Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!

What makes you not quit?

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It’s 4:59AM and you are sound asleep. Your head is positioned just right on the pillow and your blankets are wrapped perfectly around your body. You’re having sweet dreams when all of a sudden… BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! You alarm clock clicks to 5:00AM and blasts that obnoxious sound in your ear. The very first question you will ask yourself today is “Do I hit the snooze button and go back to sleep or do I get up and go for my training run I have scheduled for today?”. You think to yourself for a minute that you could probably squeeze it in after work, but then again you know that will probably not happen. So, reluctantly, you get out of bed and turn the alarm clock off, get your gear on and stretch a bit before hitting the road. Sound familiar? So what was it that made you get out of bed and go for your run? Why did you chose to not go back to sleep even though you know you really wanted to?

‘Tis the season for running races. Are you just getting into running? Are you someone who runs the annual 5K or 10K? Or, are you the running warrior who schedules your vacations around races? No matter which runner you are there will come a time during your training that you are going to want to quit. It may happen during a run or in the early morning when you need to get out of bed to go for your run. So, what makes you not quit?

There are hundreds of reasons why people become runners. Some people start at a young age and may have been successful runners on the High School Track Team. Some do it because their doctor informed them they need to exercise more and change their diet because their health has diminished to the point where the doctor has to prescribe cholesterol medication. Did you turn 50 this year and make it a goal to finish a 5K or 10K? Then again, maybe you are someone who was motivated by a friend and their accomplishments to start running. I have talked with many people over the past few years who have one of the above reasons to start running. Then again, there are bigger reasons, as well.

I have had the unfortunate displeasure of having the ultimate battle with Cancer… a few times. Each time my determination and stubbornness (and my amazing medical team) have helped me win the battle with brilliant colors. I had tried to run a couple of races during my first couple of battles, but my body just would not allow it. Last year I started my third battle (and hopefully last) with Cancer two weeks into training for the Richmond Marathon. I was devastated to say the least. So treatments began… Let’s skip all the bad stuff and jump ahead to October 8th. I was sitting across from my doctors, they informed me I was finished with treatments, my tests were perfect, my levels looked great, and I could begin to get back to my normal routine. Then, I looked at my watch…

My doctors, who have been through every battle with me, knew exactly what I was looking at and what I was thinking. They knew I was doing the math in my head. They knew I was figuring out how many weeks remained until the Richmond Marathon. They were the ones who told me I had to stop running during my treatments and knew how devastated I was. This was to be my year for the marathon. I was crushed! They were right. I was doing the math. I had 1 month, almost to the day, to train for the marathon. I was not about to let Cancer and the battle I had been through stop me from running this race, even if I did have to crawl to the finish line.

Long story short, I trained, I ran, and I finished. I had two coaches by my side for the last mile and a half and we were running, not crawling as I thought I may have to do. But, what was it that kept me going? Part of me wants to say it’s because half way through the race I was down by the river with no city bus going by to pick me up and take me home. It wasn’t. I don’t like losing. I don’t like it when people tell me I am not capable of doing something. And, I certainly do not like it when someone tells me I am not physically strong enough to do something. I will prove them wrong!

I had a lot of people on my mind during my training and the race. I have lost many friends and family to Cancer. Some were young people in their 20’s, some were much older and some in between. All of them at one time were capable of running whether it was a mile or 26.2 miles. Now they couldn’t because Cancer took their lives. I thought of each and every one of them when I wanted to quit or not get out of bed in the early morning to run. Then, I thought of all those who told me I shouldn’t or couldn’t run. I ran for those who no longer could and ran for those who doubted me for one reason or another. So, why did I tell you all of this?

My very long point is, what is your motivation? What is your reason? What makes you not quit? Some times it’s very clear and some times we need to dig deep to figure it out. I saw a picture one time on line of a persons fist that had 4 words written on it; one word on each finger. It said “Be Your Own Hero”. I immediately fell in love the phrase and picture and adopted it for myself. I wrote on my hand “I Am My Hero” for the Richmond Marathon. When the doubts started popping into my head, I looked at my hand and thought of all those who could not do what all of us were doing that day. That is, and always will be, my reason why I will not quit.

What will make you not quit?