Give a Hug

Earlier this week I had breakfast at a local “greasy spoon” in town I used to go to in high school.  I’ve known the owner for years and his niece is one of my best friends.  I sat at the counter for breakfast and Cal, the owner, and I chatted for a bit to catch up.  Two New York State Troopers came in and sat at a table and were the only people in that part of the restaurant.  I have been feeling very worried about my friends in law enforcement, fire and EMS with all that has been going on in our country.  I immediately began to worry about these two as well.

When their food came out to be delivered to their table I asked The owner if I could make the delivery.  I brought their breakfast to them, thanked them for what they do every day, for putting their lives on the line for us without fail and said I would include them in my daily prayers for their safety.  I then told them their breakfast was on me.  After arguing back and forth about me buying their breakfast (I know… who argues with a NY State Trooper?),  I was very insistent and won.  Both Troopers were very surprised, became emotional and were very appreciative.  I told them to be safe, have a great day and went back to my seat.

When I sat back down at the breakfast counter I looked at The owner, who is a big, tough looking guy, yet a huge teddy bear, and noticed a tear in the corner of his eye.  He didn’t say a word; he just smiled at me.  I felt my heart smile!  It was an amazing feeling.

I very rarely do something like this.  When I do I never tell anyone about it.  But, with all of the ugliness and hatred we are seeing in our country right now, I feel it necessary to share this story.  But, my purpose is not to receive praise or a pat on the back.  My purpose is to encourage others to combat the hate with kindness.  My purpose is to get people to recognize the power of thanking someone and letting perfect strangers know that what they do on a daily basis does not go unnoticed.  We need to let people in law enforcement, Fire and EMS know their daily commitment to the safety of the people of their communities is seen in their actions and dedication to putting their lives on the line for every one of us.  These brave souls deserve a big, massive collective hug of gratitude from all of us.

*briefly stepping on the soapbox*  I do not know the exact details of the latest police related deaths.  To be very frank, I don’t want to know.  What I do know is when I was pulled over for speeding my hands remained on the steering wheel, I said “Yes, Sir” to the officer, I didn’t reach for anything in any compartments until I was told to, and, even though my handgun was not in the car, I let the officer know I had a concealed carry permit and there was not a gun in my car.  By telling the officer this bit of information it didn’t come as a surprise to him when he pulled my driver’s license information on his computer.  Surprises are not good in this type of situation as they only make someone more anxious than they already are.  I would imagine there is a bit of nervousness or anxiousness already flowing when an officer pulls someone over, especially these days.  If an officer tells me to do something (i.e., “take your hand out of your pocket”) I do it instantly without question or argument.  These actions not only make sure I don’t end up in handcuffs, but they pretty much assure the officer he or she will remain safe and can keep a level and calm head throughout the encounter.  By the way, I do everything I can to make sure that I am not going to be pulled over by the police for any reason.  *stepping off the soapbox*

What I do know is I am tired of people being hateful and ugly toward each other.  I am tired of people blaming others for their lot in life.  I’m tired of senseless deaths because someone got their knickers in a twist and couldn’t come up with a rational, level-headed way to deal with whatever the problem may be.  We have so many things in this world that naturally add to the ugliness we face.  Cancer is one of the biggest culprits.  Although we are trying very hard to find a cure for cancer, right now there isn’t much we can do to end it.  It naturally adds ugliness, grief, sadness, anger, anxiety, uncertainty… Cancer sucks!  But, so do people who believe shooting innocent people will solve the problem. I’m also tired about hearing how certain lives matter.  Last time I checked, God believes you matter and you matter and you matter (insert visual of me pointing at people in a crowd).  Everyone matters. The end!

I recently saw the movie premier of “The Lennon Report”.  This movie brings to light the true events of the tragic night John Lennon was shot at the hands of Mark David Chapman and the events in the emergency room revealing who really treated Lennon that night. In the movie there is mention of John Lennon’s stand against gun violence.  My friend I was with put it best when she said, “This movie has many parallels to what we are dealing with in today’s society.”.  On the 33rd anniversary of Lennon’s death, Yoko Ono tweeted this picture of Lennon’s blood stained glasses,

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She added to this picture by stating, “31,537 people are killed by guns in the USA every year. We are turning this beautiful country into war zone.”

See the parallel?  I certainly do.

Back to my original point…

I believe we need to take a step back and figure out why we are so angry; figure out who we are really angry at.  How are we going to effectively and properly handle the anger so no more families have to get the awful visit at their front door telling them their loved one was killed in a senseless act of violence?  The United States of America is becoming the Divided States of America and that causes a gigantic knot in my stomach.  You know, they say everything old becomes new again or everything comes full circle.  It happened with bell-bottom pants… and it’s happened with inequality all over again.  It’s almost like having a lemon of a car.  Just when you think the problem has been fixed… WHAM-OH!  Broken again.

So, with all of this rambling, here is what I am asking of you:

Take a step back and see the whole picture.  Be thankful for what you have in life.  Work hard to obtain what you need.  Hold yourself accountable for what you don’t have and do not blame someone else because you don’t have it.  Strive to have what you desire to have.  Say “Thank you”.  Give someone a hug because we all need a good hug now and then.  And, please, please, please… stop being so ugly to one another.

Love & Hugs to all.

 

 

 

 

Writing With Your Marker

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Did you draw on your mom’s walls and in inappropriate places with markers when you were a child?  I bet you were in a ton of trouble when you did so.  I know you were because, let’s face it, we all did it.  I am now 40 years old and can tell you I often write on my bathroom mirror or on myself with a marker… a dry-erase marker.  What do I write?  Well…

I believe everyone should have a mantra; a saying; a quote that inspires them each day.  I actually have all three. Your mantra should be something you can lean on during the toughest of times.  When you are faced with adversity, your mantra is something that should have the ability to give you the kick in the butt you need.  My mantra comes from my marathon training team, Pink Nation.  It is “All Go No Quit Cowboy Up”. It means suck it up and finish what you started.  My saying is one that I use absolutely every day for every aspect of my life: work, home, fitness & health, personal, volunteer work, etc… My saying is “Be > Yesterday” (Be Greater Than Yesterday).  I don’t think I need to explain that one. Your selected quote should be the one that inspires you to get through tough times, gears you up to get ready to face adversity head on or is a quote you can rely on to put things in perspective, stay positive and get through the ugly. My quote is “Spes et Fortitudo” (hope and strength).

So, what do I write on my mirror with my trusty marker?  Sometimes I write things I need to add to the grocery list as they appear in my mind while brushing my teeth. Sometimes I write work thoughts or presentation ideas.  But, everyday I see two things on my mirror written with my trusty marker: “Be > Yesterday” and “Spes et Fortitudo”.  To me, these two statements keep me pushing forward.  They keep me thinking about being better every day.  But, they also remind me of the positive.  There’s so much “yuck” in our every day lives that being reminded of the positive in so important.

I also write on myself.  Yes, I am a grown adult and write on myself.  I am a runner.  Any race I run, whether it’s a 5K up to a marathon, I pick a person or persons to dedicate the race to and write the names on the top of my left hand right next to my watch.  Every time I look at my watch to check my pace, distance or time, I see the name(s), the reason I am running the race.  It is my motivation.  But, I also write “I Am My Hero” on my fingers.  I believe there are times in your life that you need to stop relying on others and become your own hero.  You need to do “it”, whatever “it” is, for you.  I use my trusty marker for these writings as well.

So, what are you going to write with your marker?  Where will you write it?  What is the meaning behind what you will write?