Category Archives: Thought Provoking

Never Could I

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“I could never do that!”

“There is no way I would ever be able to…”

“If I ever tried to do that I would die.”

How many times have you ever said one of the above sentences?  Over the years of my running experiences and sharing stories of all my adventures, the one comment that always pops into the conversation with a non-runner is “I could never run that far.”  We could be talking about three miles or a full marathon (26.2 miles).  In fact, there was a time many years ago when I said the same thing.  I once uttered “Never could I run 6 miles” during a conversation with someone who was getting ready to run a 10K race.  The thought of running 6.1 miles was insane and unattainable to me.  Not to mention, why in the world would I ever want to do that!  Here I am several years later with four marathons and several 5K, 10K and half-marathons races notched into my experience belt.  What I once saw as impossible became a stepping stone along the path of my running journey. Have you thought the same thing about running? Have you groaned no way, not ever? The fact is you CAN do it.  You just have to go about it the right way.

When you were a little child you didn’t just hop on a bicycle one day and be able to ride it without falling off or crashing into a street sign.  In the beginning you had training wheels. Then, you had someone holding the seat jogging along side you once the training wheels came off.  You had someone who picked you up from the ground, brushed the dirt off your scraped knees and helped you back onto the bicycle.  They guided you through the learning process until one day you were zooming down the sidewalk on your own.  Learning to become a runner and getting to your race day, no matter what distance you want to run, is no different. You should lean on and learn from those who can guide with confidence, accuracy, knowledge, and experience to be successful and reach your goals. With that, I would like to tell you a story about a friend.

Last year my dear friend, Cindy, ran her first half-marathon.  It wasn’t even a flat, “easy”one.  She tackled a difficult race course in the middle of Syracuse, NY.  What’s more impressive is she was in her mid-50’s and had just recently started running.  Having been a member of marathon training teams, a coach for 10K training teams, having health and wellness certifications, and being someone who had substantial experience with running, when I learned she was training for this race I wanted to offer a little advice here and there.  We talked about everything from stretching and strengthening exercises, to nutrition, to running techniques, and training schedules.  I wasn’t real sure how Cindy would take all of my jibber jabber about running.  She always kindly let me spout off at the mouth about all things running, said thank you and went on with her day.  Over the course of her training I would occasionally check in with her and make sure she was doing ok.  I soon realized this was no average 50-something year old who thought one day, “Gee. Maybe I’ll start running and sign up for a half-marathon because I got talked into it.”  Cindy had a determination about her that was admirable and inspiring to so many, including myself. When race day arrived, a few of us, with motivational and humorous signs in hand, drove out to Syracuse with a game plan to catch her at different points during her race to cheer her on.  It was awe-inspiring!

What Cindy did that day blew my mind! You see, most people who train for a big race like that do so with a running buddy, or a few people, especially if they are new to running.  Many people join a running group complete with coaches to guide and educate throughout the training. As far as I know, Cindy did all of her training runs on her own with an occasional gentle, motivating nudge from her husband to get her out the door to get her run in.  Not only did Cindy run her first half-marathon last November on a tough Syracuse course, but she ate that course for lunch!  It was one of the most inspiring experiences I have been a part of and I was so abundantly proud of her.

During her training I remember saying to her, “Watchout.  Before you know it you will be signing up for your first marathon.”   She had the classic response, “Oh, I could never run 26 miles. At this point I just want to get through 13 miles.”.  She ran that half-marathon kicking it right in the kisser and soon after signed up for a series of four half-marathons culminating with some serious finisher medal bling for completing the series!  Did I mention she was in her mid-50’s, never had been a runner before and had just recently started running?  Just wanted to make sure I made that point!

Then, it happened!

In March, while sitting at a Leadership Retreat at church, Cindy whispered to me, “I’ve signed up for the Marine Corps Marathon.”  I vividly remember jumping out of my chair in excitement!  I was elated!  She was taking the leap into a whole new world of running. But, it was about more than just running.  The marathon and the training that it requires is a test of commitment, spirit, internal drive, fortitude, a whole new level of toughness, determination, stamina, and grit.  Someone who once thought “I never could run a marathon” now had a glimmer of “let’s give it a try and see what happens.”  Signing up for a marathon takes guts.  Making it to the start line and crossing the finish line of a marathon is a whole new level of “guts”.

For non-elite runners, which is most of the marathon running population, marathon training is typically a six month process.   That’s a massive commitment that often comes with dramatic season changes (especially in upstate NY), not to mention family commitments, work obligations, unexpected life events, and anything else that comes up along the way.  It is also easy for a person to conveniently come up with all sorts of excuses to not get out the door for a scheduled run.  And, when the schedule reaches the higher numbers, the excuses come much easier and are more abundant. That’s normally when people fall off their schedule, never complete the training and consequently never make it to the start line missing out on their goal.  Without going into detail, Cindy had a few opportunities to toss in the towel along the way and with good reason.  But, she persevered!

Fast forward to Sunday, October 28, 2018, the running of the 43rd Marine Corps Marathon.  I was all set up with tracking Cindy on the virtual map and would receive alerts on my phone when she reached benchmarks throughout the course.  I was nervous, yet confident she would reach the finish line.  Every time I checked her status I proudly smiled.  She was running a smart race and was doing very well.  I knew when Cindy was predicted to cross the finish line and was anxiously waiting for that last text notification.  When it came in I was driving.  I pulled into a parking lot, checked the text and began to cry a joyous cry.  I was filled with a glorious, overwhelming feeling of pride for what Cindy had just accomplished.  Knowing where she was a year ago and witnessing her journey all the way to the finish of her first marathon has been such an honor to be part of and one that I will never forget.  I am thankful to Cindy for allowing me to be a part of her journey.

You never know what you can’t do until you try.  Every race, no matter the distance, no matter the speed or ability of the participants, walkers or runners, is filled with people who are stretching their comfort zones, reaching for something they once thought impossible, pushing themselves to attain something they once thought “Never could I”.  Cindy once said she could never run a marathon.  Well, my fabulous friend, check it off the list.  You did it!

Quite a while ago I came upon this fabulous meme from eBib that says it all!


Lastly, here are two closing quotes to sum up this story that I feel are very fitting and might possibly inspire you to think about reaching for one your “Never could I” adventures:

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ”I’m possible’.” ~Katherine Hepburn.

“If you are losing faith in humanity, go out and watch a marathon.” ~Kathrine Switzer

Greek Life Positive vs. Negative

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Many years ago I attended a leadership conference for the health and wellness industry.  I was the Fitness Director at a health club and we were seeing some low ratings from our members who were feeling ignored, had negative interactions with staff or felt their concerns were not being handled appropriately.  My boss sent me to the conference with instructions to come away with enough information to develop a new customer service training program to be administered to our staff members and new hires.  Changes needed to happen in our facility or we were going to begin to lose members.  So, I headed to Chicago for the conference.

Once I was signed in I headed to the hotel so I could prepare for the upcoming five days of learning and exploring all there was to know about running a successful health and wellness center.  I carefully scanned the conference schedule and diligently marked off all of the sessions I was to attend in order fill my brain with the knowledge to develop our fancy new customer service training program.  Change needed to happen at our facility and I was absolutely going to single-handedly make it happen.  In a nutshell, here is what I learned:
1. A dissatisfied customer will tell between 9-15 people about their experience while happy customers who get their issue resolved tell about 4-6 people about their experience.

2. It takes 12 positive experiences to make up for one negative experience.

3. For every customer complaint there are 26 other unhappy customers who have remained silent.

4.  …

I actually could go on and on with a list of what I learned, but let’s not waste time.  I really want to focus on the second point I listed about.  It takes 12 positive experiences to make up for one negative experience, which brings me to the point of this article: Greek life positive experiences vs. negative experiences.

We have all watched the news stories and read the articles about the hazing issues, alcohol abuse and sexual assault problems that seem to plague Sororities and Fraternities.  These articles paint a horrifying picture of what your children will deal with should they decide to become a member of one of these organizations.  I would say most people in America no matter what their age have either heard of or watched the movie “Animal House”.  I, myself, have watched it several times and can recite dialogue word for word in certain parts of the movie.  The pledge scene comes to mind!  We watch the movie laughing at its absurdity and chuckle at the situational comedy that arises from the characters consuming tremendous amounts of alcohol.  Although we know the insane amount of mayhem the Delta Tau Chi fraternity created at the fictional Faber College is a bit far-fetched, what we see reported in the news today seems to give some validity to this type of Greek life.  Here’s the problem.  With every negative situation that happens involving a sorority or fraternity there are at least twelve positive aspects of Greek life the members of these organizations are taking part in.  So, without further ado, here are twelve positive aspects of Greek life from around the country that need to be moved to the forefront and recognized.  (Side note: Please understand I am in no way downplaying the problems faced in some of these organizations, but merely pointing out they do contribute in a positive manner to society).  In addition to the below facts listed below, you can view the full list of 50 Best Colleges for Greek Life here.

1. Villanova University “has a strong focus on philanthropic endeavors. Fraternities and sororities raised over $178,000, collected 650 articles of clothing, 4,600 pounds of canned food, donated 200 pints of blood, and completed over 24,000 hours of service for various causes in 2012. In 2014, the total fundraised amount was $425,000. In addition to these generous donations, Greeks at Villanova maintained a 3.36 GPA.”

2. At Bucknell University, “the Panhellenic Council committed to the national No More Campaign, donning T-shirts and raising awareness to end sexual violence and assault. The IFC, Panhellenic, and Kappa Delta Rho held a 5K Obstacle Course Run and raised over $12,000 for the B+ Foundation to fight childhood cancer. In 2013, Greek organizations raised over $13,000 in the Million Penny Project for recreation programs in Lewisburg.”

3. At the University of North Carolina-Wilmington “for the 2014 academic year, UNCW fraternities and sororities donated over 25,500 hours of community service and raised over $75,000 for philanthropic groups.”

4. Northwestern University: “One campus initiate is the Dance Marathon. Now in its 42nd year, Northwestern University Dance Marathon (NUDM) is one of the largest and most well established student-run philanthropies in the nation. Since its founding in 1975, Northwestern students have raised over $16 million in support of over 30 different beneficiaries, annually raising over $1 million for each of the last five years.”

5. Dartmouth College: “The Philanthropic All American Rush (P.A.A.R) is a unique Greek experience that consists in a competition between Greek organizations in order to fundraise for the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth. In 2014, Greek chapters raised $108,769 for the Norris Cotton Cancer Center at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Hospital, and through P.A.A.R., raised $34,249, which was doubled by Positive Tracks, to make a total donation of $68,498 to the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth.”

6. Millsaps College: “The Millsaps Panhellenic Council was lauded for its work with Operation Cinderella Story, a dress drive for the Midtown Community Development Center and students from Rowan Middle, as well as partnering with Stop Hunger Now to pack food boxes for 6,000 people, making 372 bookmarks for the literacy program at Brown Elementary School in the Midtown neighborhood in Jackson, and for implementing new educational programs to address alcohol poisoning, eating disorders, hazing and bullying.”

7. The motto at Wofford College is “shines with untarnished honor.” Greek life is an essential part of Wofford with 13 chapters and 49 percent of students involved. Notable past philanthropy includes one chapter that raised $34,000 for St. Jude Children’s Hospital, serving people with disabilities through Push America, construction projects, and more.

8. At the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater “a Turtle Race, a 5K Run/Walk with all proceeds going to the Painted Turtle Camp in Lake Hughes, CA (a non-profit organization that invites children who have chronic and terminal illnesses to enjoy a camp experience for a week, completely free)” that takes place in the fall semester.  They also hold “Hoops for Hearing, an event that raises money for Speech and Hearing, a national philanthropy.”

9. At DePauw University, “the local sorority, Psi Lambda Xi, is a good example of the kind of philanthropy you can expect from the Greeks at DePauw: A Karnival for Kids and Toy Drive for Riley Children’s Hospital raised money, toys, and school supplies that went directly to local children.”

10. At Westminster College, the fraternities and sororities raised more than $19,000 in money, and the Student Government Association (SGA) collected nearly 5,000 food, clothing, toys, and other items during Greek Week 2013. In 2014, the charters raised $11,656 for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

11. At Albion College the All-Greek average GPA is 3.31. “When it comes to philanthropy, Albion provides many opportunities to serve – the fight against domestic violence, called “Go Purple Week,” or various fundraisers to help support the Special Olympics are a couple of examples.”

12. At Centre College, Greeks help support the United Way, Salvation Army, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, mentor at-risk local school children, and sponsor city-wide canned-food drives. Centre Greeks recorded more than 9,000 service hours last year, raised more than $66,000 for charitable organizations, and Centre Greek students received more than $12,000 in national awards.

It is my hope that these twelve positives of Greek life around the country will shed a more positive light upon these organizations. The lists of Greek life good deeds, philanthropic efforts, community service efforts and the like at colleges and universities across the country are seemingly endless with just a little bit of research.  The reported issues of alcohol and hazing related deaths and sexual abuse on college campuses over the past few years has forced these institutions to take tough actions, take a hard look at the actions within the organizations and begin to rebuild Greek life on campus for the greater good.  It has also caused fraternities and sororities to hold their members to higher standards and accountability within the organizations.  These students are doing a tremendous amount of good for the communities surrounding the college or university they attend bringing to light and forefront the remarkable young adults they truly are.  With that, let us congratulate these organizations and their members and continue to support them throughout their collegiate career and beyond.

Give a Hug

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Earlier this week I had breakfast at a local “greasy spoon” in town I used to go to in high school.  I’ve known the owner for years and his niece is one of my best friends.  I sat at the counter for breakfast and Cal, the owner, and I chatted for a bit to catch up.  Two New York State Troopers came in and sat at a table and were the only people in that part of the restaurant.  I have been feeling very worried about my friends in law enforcement, fire and EMS with all that has been going on in our country.  I immediately began to worry about these two as well.

When their food came out to be delivered to their table I asked The owner if I could make the delivery.  I brought their breakfast to them, thanked them for what they do every day, for putting their lives on the line for us without fail and said I would include them in my daily prayers for their safety.  I then told them their breakfast was on me.  After arguing back and forth about me buying their breakfast (I know… who argues with a NY State Trooper?),  I was very insistent and won.  Both Troopers were very surprised, became emotional and were very appreciative.  I told them to be safe, have a great day and went back to my seat.

When I sat back down at the breakfast counter I looked at The owner, who is a big, tough looking guy, yet a huge teddy bear, and noticed a tear in the corner of his eye.  He didn’t say a word; he just smiled at me.  I felt my heart smile!  It was an amazing feeling.

I very rarely do something like this.  When I do I never tell anyone about it.  But, with all of the ugliness and hatred we are seeing in our country right now, I feel it necessary to share this story.  But, my purpose is not to receive praise or a pat on the back.  My purpose is to encourage others to combat the hate with kindness.  My purpose is to get people to recognize the power of thanking someone and letting perfect strangers know that what they do on a daily basis does not go unnoticed.  We need to let people in law enforcement, Fire and EMS know their daily commitment to the safety of the people of their communities is seen in their actions and dedication to putting their lives on the line for every one of us.  These brave souls deserve a big, massive collective hug of gratitude from all of us.

*briefly stepping on the soapbox*  I do not know the exact details of the latest police related deaths.  To be very frank, I don’t want to know.  What I do know is when I was pulled over for speeding my hands remained on the steering wheel, I said “Yes, Sir” to the officer, I didn’t reach for anything in any compartments until I was told to, and, even though my handgun was not in the car, I let the officer know I had a concealed carry permit and there was not a gun in my car.  By telling the officer this bit of information it didn’t come as a surprise to him when he pulled my driver’s license information on his computer.  Surprises are not good in this type of situation as they only make someone more anxious than they already are.  I would imagine there is a bit of nervousness or anxiousness already flowing when an officer pulls someone over, especially these days.  If an officer tells me to do something (i.e., “take your hand out of your pocket”) I do it instantly without question or argument.  These actions not only make sure I don’t end up in handcuffs, but they pretty much assure the officer he or she will remain safe and can keep a level and calm head throughout the encounter.  By the way, I do everything I can to make sure that I am not going to be pulled over by the police for any reason.  *stepping off the soapbox*

What I do know is I am tired of people being hateful and ugly toward each other.  I am tired of people blaming others for their lot in life.  I’m tired of senseless deaths because someone got their knickers in a twist and couldn’t come up with a rational, level-headed way to deal with whatever the problem may be.  We have so many things in this world that naturally add to the ugliness we face.  Cancer is one of the biggest culprits.  Although we are trying very hard to find a cure for cancer, right now there isn’t much we can do to end it.  It naturally adds ugliness, grief, sadness, anger, anxiety, uncertainty… Cancer sucks!  But, so do people who believe shooting innocent people will solve the problem. I’m also tired about hearing how certain lives matter.  Last time I checked, God believes you matter and you matter and you matter (insert visual of me pointing at people in a crowd).  Everyone matters. The end!

I recently saw the movie premier of “The Lennon Report”.  This movie brings to light the true events of the tragic night John Lennon was shot at the hands of Mark David Chapman and the events in the emergency room revealing who really treated Lennon that night. In the movie there is mention of John Lennon’s stand against gun violence.  My friend I was with put it best when she said, “This movie has many parallels to what we are dealing with in today’s society.”.  On the 33rd anniversary of Lennon’s death, Yoko Ono tweeted this picture of Lennon’s blood stained glasses,

yoko-ono-guns-lennon-glasses

She added to this picture by stating, “31,537 people are killed by guns in the USA every year. We are turning this beautiful country into war zone.”

See the parallel?  I certainly do.

Back to my original point…

I believe we need to take a step back and figure out why we are so angry; figure out who we are really angry at.  How are we going to effectively and properly handle the anger so no more families have to get the awful visit at their front door telling them their loved one was killed in a senseless act of violence?  The United States of America is becoming the Divided States of America and that causes a gigantic knot in my stomach.  You know, they say everything old becomes new again or everything comes full circle.  It happened with bell-bottom pants… and it’s happened with inequality all over again.  It’s almost like having a lemon of a car.  Just when you think the problem has been fixed… WHAM-OH!  Broken again.

So, with all of this rambling, here is what I am asking of you:

Take a step back and see the whole picture.  Be thankful for what you have in life.  Work hard to obtain what you need.  Hold yourself accountable for what you don’t have and do not blame someone else because you don’t have it.  Strive to have what you desire to have.  Say “Thank you”.  Give someone a hug because we all need a good hug now and then.  And, please, please, please… stop being so ugly to one another.

Love & Hugs to all.

 

 

 

 

Stop It and Refocus

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I love technology.  My home office, or Mission Control as I call it, consists of two cell phones, an iPad with a bluetooth keyboard, a MacBook, and a bluetooth printer and let’s not leave out the music system with four iPods to choose the tunes of the day from.  The cell phones are Apple products, which means all devices are keeping up with each other.  Everything runs at the same time with me jumping from one to the next so smoothly resembling a ballerina gliding across the stage.  Well, maybe not that smoothly, but you get the point.  I, of course, can justify this madness with a long dissertation on why all of this is necessary in order for me to be productive.  I have rehearsed it and given the speech numerous times.  Some people buy it and others just think I am nuts.  In either case, I have all of this stuff to refer to, glare into, research and process from, waste time with, and be entertained by.  Now, I know I am not alone in this.  Face it.  You have these things, as well; maybe not as much as I do or maybe you have even more.  But, stick with me because I need to shift gears for a moment.

When I talk with people who are either thinking about getting into running or they are struggling to keep their motivation to run, I always come back to the same question.  What is your “Y” factor?  What I mean is, what is it deep down inside of you that is the reason why you want to run, walk, exercise, get healthier?  When we can figure that out, it then becomes the reason why we get out of bed an hour earlier a few days a week and hit the pavement.  I will now return to my regularly schedule article…

The question becomes, what is the “Y” factor behind having all this stuff?  Do we REALLY need it?  I say, to a certain extent, yes we do.  Let’s face it, it’s the way of the world.  Technology is an important aspect of the work place.  I know only one man who continues to use an old-fashioned typewriter.  He sits on his front porch typing away.  People marvel at it as they walk by and hear the click clack of him composing a letter to someone!  He is a retired journalism professor who will absolutely not convert to the new technology.  He does not have to, need to and, most definitely, does not want to.  However, I work quite often out of my home and require the use of modern technology.  I do not have a landline phone in my home because a cell phone will suffice and it is pretty much always glued to my hip.  Do I NEED two of them, probably not.  However, I justify it by saying one is my personal phone and the other is my business phone, which of course I can write off as a business expense.  This explanation seems to be enough for most people.  Do I NEED to have the iPad and MacBook going at the same time?  Most of the time I do not, but it looks really cool.  Do I NEED to have the music?  Absolutely! Music helps me stay focused.  But, do I need four iPods?  No, but they were gifts and I do not want to seem ungrateful, therefore I use each one of them.  I 100% believe I am not alone is this technology overload.  In fact, if I look hard enough, I am certain I can find a support group for all of us who are in the same boat.  However, here is the big problem.  All of this “stuff” is keeping us from living right.  I’ll explain.

The other day I watched a person walk square into a street sign.  SLAM!  They never saw it coming.  They had their head down and their eyes were immersed in something that I am certain was crucial to attend to straight away on their cell phone.  Admittedly, I giggled a little.  Sorry, but it was funny!  Anyway… Instead of learning from the incident and taking their head out of their phone to watch where they were going, they went straight back to doing what they were doing before the street sign so rudely jumped out in front of them.  I am sure you have seen something similar to this before.  The next time you have a few extra minutes to take a step back and observe the people around you, count how many people have their head down in a piece of technology.

I am a firm believer in eye contact.  It has become a thing of the past in public, especially when walking down the street, around the mall, etc.  Not only is it being polite, but making eye contact with someone is a sign of confidence.  It is a safety mechanism.  It shows strength.  As someone who has been in martial arts for thirty years, I can tell you it is one of the first things I teach and a first line of defense.  So, if for no other reason, for the love of God people take your head out of your phone when you are walking around in public!  Here ends the lesson…

Technology has brought about a new dislike for human kind, a hatefulness if you will.  The world we live in is full of all sorts of ugliness that is being fed or brought about in part because of technology.  We have instant access to things that happen around the globe.  Ugliness is what seems to sell stories more now than ever.  It has become so bad that titles to articles can stir the ugly pot even when the actual article talks about something completely the opposite.  As a society, we have become a new kind of lazy and quick to react.  By lazy I mean we read an article title on social media, it gets us fired up, we make a comment and express our dislike for the situation all without actually reading the article.  Read the article?  We don’t have time for that.  The title gave us the information we need, right?  It never fails!  There is always someone who then tries to defend the article because they actually read it.  Name calling ensues.  They refer to the ones who clearly didn’t the read article as stupid, ignorant and, most often, use other very ugly, salty language to describe the persons level of intellect.  And, without fail, the bickering begins and the point of the article is completely lost because everyone is compelled to defend their view of the topic and sling a few distasteful words and special names back.  All of this takes place like a school fight on the playground between eight year olds.

Think back to a time when social media did not exist.  We got our dose of news from the newspaper (the actual newspaper, not on-line) and the morning or evening news.  If something happened across the country, we didn’t hear about it until the news broadcast informed us about it.  If we didn’t like what we were hearing or reading we didn’t have the ability to hide behind a computer screen and write very hateful, hurtful comments and essentially pick fights with people.  Technology has brought about a new kind of defense and not in a good way.  I often wonder if these people who are fighting via the safety of their technological devices, would they have the nerve to actually say these awful things to the others face to face?

So, my point to all of this is we need to stop it and refocus.  We need to refocus our priorities in life.  We need to stop being so ugly toward each other.  I have had to attend more funerals in my life than I care to count for people who were struck down by cancer, strokes, heart attacks, suicide… all great people who deserved a long, happy, loving life.  We live in a much more complex world now than it was 30 years ago.  Technology can bring about so many good things in our world.  Helping to find a cure for cancer is one that comes to mind.  But, are you using it for good or for ugliness?  There are so many problems facing the world today.  Rather than adding to the problems, figure out how you can be part of the solution.  The solution may be as simple as not making the comment on the social media article you are just itching to post.  T.H.I.N.K.!  Is what you want to say, True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?  If not, let it go.  Because in the grand scheme of things, in the entirety of your life, what does it all really matter?  What difference is it going to have on your day and your life if you make the ugly comment you are thinking in your mind.  Instead of putting it out there for the world to see and quite possibly you being judged as one of those nasty names others are calling people, write it down on a piece of paper.  Go ahead and get it off your chest.  Read it over a couple of times, then crumple it up and toss it out.  Once you have done that evaluate the situation.  How do you feel about the ugly thoughts you had?  Did any of it add value to your day and your life?  Refocus!

Take a few minutes and figure out what it is that is truly important in your life.  What value or contribution are you making to the lives around you?  Are you happy with your life?  If not, stop blaming people, places and things and make the changes you need to make in order to be happy. Bob Marley said exactly that. “Open your eyes, look within.  Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”  Be the change you wish to see in the world around you and try to make a difference in someone else’s life.  One more music quote and I’m finished..  I promise.  Stevie Wonder, “Love’s In Need of Love Today”.  The song is about love in modern times and how the word and meaning of love seems to have faded.  It implores people to give love to love, to stop the hate.

“The force of evil plans
To make you its possession
And it will if we let it
Destroy every-body
We all must take
Precautionary measures
If love and peace you treasure
Then you’ll hear me when I say

Love’s in need of love today
Don’t delay
Send yours in right away
Hate’s goin’ round
Breaking many hearts
Stop it please
Before it’s gone too far”

Writing With Your Marker

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Did you draw on your mom’s walls and in inappropriate places with markers when you were a child?  I bet you were in a ton of trouble when you did so.  I know you were because, let’s face it, we all did it.  I am now 40 years old and can tell you I often write on my bathroom mirror or on myself with a marker… a dry-erase marker.  What do I write?  Well…

I believe everyone should have a mantra; a saying; a quote that inspires them each day.  I actually have all three. Your mantra should be something you can lean on during the toughest of times.  When you are faced with adversity, your mantra is something that should have the ability to give you the kick in the butt you need.  My mantra comes from my marathon training team, Pink Nation.  It is “All Go No Quit Cowboy Up”. It means suck it up and finish what you started.  My saying is one that I use absolutely every day for every aspect of my life: work, home, fitness & health, personal, volunteer work, etc… My saying is “Be > Yesterday” (Be Greater Than Yesterday).  I don’t think I need to explain that one. Your selected quote should be the one that inspires you to get through tough times, gears you up to get ready to face adversity head on or is a quote you can rely on to put things in perspective, stay positive and get through the ugly. My quote is “Spes et Fortitudo” (hope and strength).

So, what do I write on my mirror with my trusty marker?  Sometimes I write things I need to add to the grocery list as they appear in my mind while brushing my teeth. Sometimes I write work thoughts or presentation ideas.  But, everyday I see two things on my mirror written with my trusty marker: “Be > Yesterday” and “Spes et Fortitudo”.  To me, these two statements keep me pushing forward.  They keep me thinking about being better every day.  But, they also remind me of the positive.  There’s so much “yuck” in our every day lives that being reminded of the positive in so important.

I also write on myself.  Yes, I am a grown adult and write on myself.  I am a runner.  Any race I run, whether it’s a 5K up to a marathon, I pick a person or persons to dedicate the race to and write the names on the top of my left hand right next to my watch.  Every time I look at my watch to check my pace, distance or time, I see the name(s), the reason I am running the race.  It is my motivation.  But, I also write “I Am My Hero” on my fingers.  I believe there are times in your life that you need to stop relying on others and become your own hero.  You need to do “it”, whatever “it” is, for you.  I use my trusty marker for these writings as well.

So, what are you going to write with your marker?  Where will you write it?  What is the meaning behind what you will write?

More To It Than Just A Number

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I recently read a couple of blog posts that got me a bit fired up.  The first one I read is by a blogger named Bryan Vaughn.  Mr. Vaughn wrote a post called “Why We All Hate Your 13.1 Stickers.“.  The second post is in response to Mr. Vaughn’s post called,  “Why We Love Your Post, ‘Why We All Hate Your 13.1 Stickers,”.  I strongly recommend you read both of these posts so you have an understanding of what my response is referring to.

Most of my blog followers know that I am a runner.  If you are new to my blog, you can check out some of my older posts where I talk about running the Richmond Marathon and my running team, MTT Pink Nation.  Mr. Vaughn’s post was quite aggravating to me as I am a very proud card carrying, number sticker/magnet displaying member of the running community.  So, I was compelled to give a different view of what these number stickers and magnets mean aside from just bragging about an accomplishment, as Mr. Vaughn suggests.

Here is my response to the two blog posts:

“Heck yeah my stickers are to announce to the world what I’ve accomplished! I am proud of every race and distance I’ve completed. You see, once you kick cancer’s butt not once, not twice, but three times and are able to run any distance it is fair game to shout it from the roof tops (and the back of my car). What people don’t see when they look at these stickers and magnets is the whole story. I run for my health; I run for myself. I display the stickers because I am proud of my accomplishments and, yes, I want to show that off. I do not care if that angers people. Cancer angers me and I’ve kicked it right in the chops. So, to those who are bothered by these stickers I say get over it. It’s time to be angered by things that truly matter in this world… Cancer, diabetes, lupus, stroke, heart disease, alzheimer’s, and so many other medical problems that affect the lives of so many incredible people. Be angered by children shooting children. Be angered by domestic abuse. Take your anger and make a difference. Don’t just sit and type a ranting post, hiding behind the computer screen. Do something good with your anger and help people. My number stickers are absolutely symbols of greatness in times of adversity and I proudly display them for the world to see. I spend my anger on helping to finding a cure for Cancer. What are you going to do with your anger?”

I can only hope Mr. Vaughn read this response and sees that there is more to a sticker or magnet on the back of a car than just numbers.

Brick By Brick

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It seems that in nearly everything we do that has a process or takes time to accomplish there is a need to build a foundation in order to succeed.  Your foundation for learning began very, very early on.  In kindergarten (or maybe before), you learned the ABC’s.  You learned how to read and write paving the way for your education and future.  In music performance, students build a strong foundation by learning scales and practicing technical studies.  In sports, athletes learn how to throw, kick, field, hit, block, hold equipment, etc. giving them a strong foundation to advance their skills.  In sales, the account executive learns the steps to the sale, they learn the products and how their company can provide the service more effectively than other companies.  Runners need to learn proper running form and what socks/shoes work best for them in order to prevent injury and run efficiently. So, let’s talk about running for a few minutes.

Many people think marathon runners are crazy.  Yes, we are, but that’s not the point.  The thought of running even a mile to many people is tiresome and frightening.  So, the idea of them running a marathon seems incredibly outrageous.  This is because they have no base, no foundation.  Some of these people don’t even walk for exercise on a regular basis. So, the thought of running is ridiculous.  The question runners are always asked if “Why?”.

Runners have different personal reasons why they run, which I will not go into.  More to the point, we runners run because we can.  We have built the foundation to be able to do it.  We reached the goals of 5K, 10K and half marathon races.  The next logical step to us is the full marathon, and, yes, that is 26.2 miles.  We follow training schedules that include weekday shorter runs that incorporate hill and speed training (not at the same time, of course), one long run day on the weekend, cross training, and rest days.  We are very careful not to increase our mileage per week too much too soon.  Many runners take yoga classes to help maintain flexibility and prevent injury.  Have I mentioned building a strong foundation?

‘Tis the season for half and full marathons!  Roughly fifty thousand people will run the NY City Marathon in November. In 2013 more than 1,100 marathons were run across the country with 541,000 finishers.  The division between men and women is 57% and 43% respectively. Of all of these runners 47% were runners 40 years of age and older, respectfully referred to as the masters age group. All of these runners followed a training program building their foundation step by step, brick by brick.

I recently shared a quote with my running friends that speaks to the point of building a strong foundation.  Emperor Hadrian said about the building of Rome, “Brick by brick, my citizens. Brick by brick.”. There is a lot of power, truth and motivation in this quote.  So, to those who are getting ready for a race, no matter the distance or your pace (walking or running), I say to you, build your foundation.  Start with the tiny steps and climb to the highest peaks.  With every step your foundation will get stronger.  This will ensure you are at the start line on race day and cross the finish line with your arms raised high above your head and a face beaming with pride.  “Brick by brick, my citizens.  Brick by brick” (Hadrian).

Your Mantra

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Mantra is a mind projection created in either a spoken or mental manner. Mantras can be a word, phrase, syllable or sound. They can be recited, sung or repeated silently in the mind. It is a technique for regulating the mind. There are many mantras each one having its own quality, rhythm, and effect. For thousands of years, mystics, meditators and yogis have used mantras for mental and spiritual transformation.  If you search the web you will find web site on top of web site full of inspirational and motivating quotes; mantras, if you will.  Well… here begins the story of Pink Nation and our mantra.

“In rodeo, to ‘cowboy up’ means to suck it up in times of adversity and carry on when you are injured or down and the prospect of doing whatever you’re about to try is so bleak that the best you can hope for is to live through it.” ~ Tuff Hedeman, World Champion Bull Rider

Mantra: any sacred word or syllable used as an object of concentration and embodying some aspect of spiritual power.  I am a proud card-carrying member of the Pink Nation Marathon Training Team.  We begin our “family reunion” each year in June.  We hold “church” each Sunday morning to get our sweat on and push ourselves towards a goal in November that most would never even consider attempting… start and finish 26.2 miles.  We have a phrase we use when faced with adversity when we head out for training runs, during our lives and especially on race day when we set out to conquer 26.2 miles. Our mantra is “All Go, No Quit, COWBOY UP“. 

You see, Pink Nation is not just a running training team; it’s a family.  We take care of each other and look out for each other.  We welcome new members into our family every year in June.  When one of us has a tough road ahead in any aspect of our life, team members shout our mantra from the roof tops (well comment on social media and other forms of communication, but you get the point).  Throughout the year many members of Pink Nation take part in other races around the stated and even throughout the country; races of varying distances.  No matter the length of the race team members are always there with a rousing “All Go, No Quit, COWBOY UP“.  It sticks in your head.  It becomes your “wingman” never leaving your side during a race.  When you are feeling beat up it is comforting knowing there are people out there who know just what to say to make you suck it up and keep pushing ahead. They know what to say that makes you not quit.

We all need a kick in the butt every now and then to keep us pushing forward in life, in work, and in reaching goals of all kinds.  What is your mantra?  Do you have a phrase that keeps you going? What gives you the kick in the butt you sometimes need to “get through it”, to make it across whatever finish line lies ahead of you?  If you do not have a mantra, I think it would be okay with my fellow Pink Nation family members if you borrowed ours.  But, be careful as it is a powerful phrase.  There’s no telling what you might accomplish once you use it.  “All Go, No Quit, COWBOY UP“, my friends. 

Noise and Yucky Stuff

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Remember the good old days? Chalk boards and clapping erasers outside after school, rotary dial phones, the world before video games and entertaining yourself by playing outside, 8-tracks, tapes, records, and reel-to-reel video, slide shows were actual square, paper frames with film in between them, TV Dinners, the world before TV (for some of my readers)… We could go on and on. With all that’s happening in our world, I like to sit back and think of simpler, kinder times. When I was growing up the worst thing I had to worry about was getting a flat tire on my bicycle during the 3.5 mile ride home from playing tennis. That meant I would have to walk the rest of the way home. There wasn’t such a thing as a cell phone to use to call home and have someone come pick me up. Times have changed.

The world seems to be in a big hurry and has become cluttered with “noise” and “yucky stuff”. Homes are filled with multiple televisions, a couple of computers, tablets and iPads, cell phones, and iPods. Not to mention, the constant bombardment of noise and yucky stuff from television and social media that inundates our lives. It is impossible to watch a news broadcast and not hear about tragedies of some kind. Most often, it seems like the entire broadcast is informing us of terrible things happening around us. Let us not forget how much divorce attorneys love social media for the stories, status updates and pictures. Like I said, noise and yucky stuff.

As I sit here outside with a slight breeze blowing, birds chirping and a view of the water just beyond to screen of my laptop, I have come to realize more than ever how important it is to get rid of the noise and yucky stuff now and then. Unplug all of the electronics. Breathe in the fresh air, look up at the nature that surrounds you, appreciate the simple things again. A month ago I did just that. I unplugged. I unplugged for two days and returned to a simpler life for the weekend. Admittedly, it was not easy at first. I kept reaching for my iPad to see what everyone was up to on all of the social media sites. I kept wanting to pick up my phone to do anything other than make a phone call. Remember when a phone was meant for phone calls and that was all? As time went on though, I found myself enjoying my time without the noise and yucky stuff. I picked up a book, not an electronic version of it, but an actual paperback, went outside, sat in my chair and read. I finished a number of chapters and thought it had only been a short time. I came to realize that I had been outside enjoying my book in my favorite chair, with my puppy next to me for two and a half hours. Time seemed to stand still.

The weekend was a success. I made it through the weekend without Facebook, Twitter, my blog, my laptop and iPad, and using my cell phone only for calls that came in and the Sunday morning call to my parents. Unplugging is now a regular practice of mine. So, I challenge you to give it a try. There is too much noise and yucky stuff in the world and around us every day. We must take it upon ourselves to slow down, unplug, clear our minds, and enjoy the simpler things in life. Get your head out of your electronics and enjoy your family. Have actual conversations with each other. Go outside. Enjoy your surroundings. Breathe in the fresh air. Get away from the noise and yucky stuff for a while. You will be amazed by the impact it has on your overall being. Most importantly turn off the noise and yucky stuff to enjoy life!

Chicken or the Pig?

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I bet you thought I was going to write chicken or the egg!!  Now that I have your attention, I have a question for you.  Are you a chicken or a pig?  I’ll explain…

In everyday life you can either be a participant in it or committed to it. Using breakfast as an example, the chicken was a participant while the pig was absolutely committed!  So, I ask you again, are you a chicken or a pig?  Think about each day.  Do you just go through the motions? Or, do you have meaning to each day, each activity, each interaction with people?  What is your purpose?  What are you about?  What is it that you want to be remembered or known for?  I know, so many questions. 

Personally, I want to help in some way to find a cure for cancer.  Being a survivor of this terrible disease, I work to help raise awareness and funds for research, clinical trials and so places like VCU Massey Cancer Center can continue to treat patients from around the world at their facility regardless of the patients ability to pay.  I want to inspire others to get involved in some way.  I want to inspire others to get involved with something that will give them a sense of pride that they have done something good.  Aspire to be committed to this life, not just a participant. Don’t just go through the motions.  Have a purpose for each day and be thankful you are here to enjoy each day.

So, look at yourself in the mirror and ask you if you are a chicken or a pig. Participant or committed?