Category Archives: Real Life

Noise and Yucky Stuff

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Remember the good old days? Chalk boards and clapping erasers outside after school, rotary dial phones, the world before video games and entertaining yourself by playing outside, 8-tracks, tapes, records, and reel-to-reel video, slide shows were actual square, paper frames with film in between them, TV Dinners, the world before TV (for some of my readers)… We could go on and on. With all that’s happening in our world, I like to sit back and think of simpler, kinder times. When I was growing up the worst thing I had to worry about was getting a flat tire on my bicycle during the 3.5 mile ride home from playing tennis. That meant I would have to walk the rest of the way home. There wasn’t such a thing as a cell phone to use to call home and have someone come pick me up. Times have changed.

The world seems to be in a big hurry and has become cluttered with “noise” and “yucky stuff”. Homes are filled with multiple televisions, a couple of computers, tablets and iPads, cell phones, and iPods. Not to mention, the constant bombardment of noise and yucky stuff from television and social media that inundates our lives. It is impossible to watch a news broadcast and not hear about tragedies of some kind. Most often, it seems like the entire broadcast is informing us of terrible things happening around us. Let us not forget how much divorce attorneys love social media for the stories, status updates and pictures. Like I said, noise and yucky stuff.

As I sit here outside with a slight breeze blowing, birds chirping and a view of the water just beyond to screen of my laptop, I have come to realize more than ever how important it is to get rid of the noise and yucky stuff now and then. Unplug all of the electronics. Breathe in the fresh air, look up at the nature that surrounds you, appreciate the simple things again. A month ago I did just that. I unplugged. I unplugged for two days and returned to a simpler life for the weekend. Admittedly, it was not easy at first. I kept reaching for my iPad to see what everyone was up to on all of the social media sites. I kept wanting to pick up my phone to do anything other than make a phone call. Remember when a phone was meant for phone calls and that was all? As time went on though, I found myself enjoying my time without the noise and yucky stuff. I picked up a book, not an electronic version of it, but an actual paperback, went outside, sat in my chair and read. I finished a number of chapters and thought it had only been a short time. I came to realize that I had been outside enjoying my book in my favorite chair, with my puppy next to me for two and a half hours. Time seemed to stand still.

The weekend was a success. I made it through the weekend without Facebook, Twitter, my blog, my laptop and iPad, and using my cell phone only for calls that came in and the Sunday morning call to my parents. Unplugging is now a regular practice of mine. So, I challenge you to give it a try. There is too much noise and yucky stuff in the world and around us every day. We must take it upon ourselves to slow down, unplug, clear our minds, and enjoy the simpler things in life. Get your head out of your electronics and enjoy your family. Have actual conversations with each other. Go outside. Enjoy your surroundings. Breathe in the fresh air. Get away from the noise and yucky stuff for a while. You will be amazed by the impact it has on your overall being. Most importantly turn off the noise and yucky stuff to enjoy life!

My Maddie-Boo

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It was your world that I was fortunate to exist in. I miss the mornings rubbing your eyes and your gentle nose nudge to let me know I wasn’t finished yet. No more saying your prayers at night, no more dinner time “let’s say grace”, and no more drool on my leg when I say “Amen”. I miss your snoring and noises while you sleep. I see a shadow of you belly up on your sofa. Sticks are piling up and my yard clean up crew isn’t here to help me.  Your fire pit movie night blinkie collar blinks no more.

Your baby pool is dry, your lion hasn’t roared, your Kermit hasn’t croaked. Your Booda sits where you last tossed it at my feet.  My routines have been turned inside out. No more tail wagging in circles, butt throwing side to side “welcome home, Mom” greeting when I walk through the door.  Your collar sits with no one to decorate, your golf balls haven’t been touched. No more guarding presence next to the shower, no more night time snuggles and morning massages to give.

I miss my stretching partner, my escort to the mailbox and my back seat driver.  I haven’t said “eat your breakfast”, “want some dinner”, “load ’em up”, or “I love you, Maddie-Boo” in 2 days. Your bed is empty, as is my heart.  No more greeting the neighbors with the biggest stick you could find.  No more watching you sniff the same old tree, no more barks at the back door saying “doorbell!” and no more closet doors to open and squirrels to retrieve.

My office assistant is gone, my grill mate has left me.  Morning coffee just isn’t the same.

No more silent glares to let me know it’s time to get up or go outside. Your life was full of friends, both puppies and humans. No more phone calls asking if you could come over to play for the day. My house is empty, yet full of the love you left.  My world was made the day you entered my life.  My face lit up and my smiles were big each time someone asked, “How’s Maddie?”.

No more watching you jump off docks, swim in the pool, raft surfing and climbing the ladder to get out.

You had more friends than you ever knew, some never actually met you.  Your life, personality and love of all things in the world were evident to all who saw your pictures. People you never met have shed tears for you.  You left a mark in this world like no other before.  Your pictures and videos are reminders of your amazing life and love you had for all and the world.

Your final resting place is here with me among the trees, the sticks you carried, the path we walked, with Moose snuggled next to you.  You are in heaven now surrounded by those who have gone before you.  All your friends are with you. All of you are happy, healthy and will play together forever.  Your pool is open forever now, your raft is always afloat. The sun will shine always for you, your water bowl will forever be full.

Your last breath, your last heart beat… the most precious moment in my life.  There will never be another you.  “She was special” said by so many. Rest easy, my baby girl.

I love you, Maddie-Boo.

Chicken or the Pig?

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I bet you thought I was going to write chicken or the egg!!  Now that I have your attention, I have a question for you.  Are you a chicken or a pig?  I’ll explain…

In everyday life you can either be a participant in it or committed to it. Using breakfast as an example, the chicken was a participant while the pig was absolutely committed!  So, I ask you again, are you a chicken or a pig?  Think about each day.  Do you just go through the motions? Or, do you have meaning to each day, each activity, each interaction with people?  What is your purpose?  What are you about?  What is it that you want to be remembered or known for?  I know, so many questions. 

Personally, I want to help in some way to find a cure for cancer.  Being a survivor of this terrible disease, I work to help raise awareness and funds for research, clinical trials and so places like VCU Massey Cancer Center can continue to treat patients from around the world at their facility regardless of the patients ability to pay.  I want to inspire others to get involved in some way.  I want to inspire others to get involved with something that will give them a sense of pride that they have done something good.  Aspire to be committed to this life, not just a participant. Don’t just go through the motions.  Have a purpose for each day and be thankful you are here to enjoy each day.

So, look at yourself in the mirror and ask you if you are a chicken or a pig. Participant or committed? 

The Massey Challenge

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Click here to view my story and help me put cancer on the the run with The Massey Challenge!

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Please consider a small donation that can make a global impact! Click here to learn about VCU Massey Cancer Center. Thank you for your donation!

Man’s Best Friend

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“The faithful dog – why should I strive

 To speak his merits, while they live

In every breast, and man’s best friend

Does often at his heels attend.”

The New-York Literary Journal, Volume 4, 1821

On the day of my puppy dog’s 7th birthday, I am inspired to chat about Man’s Best Friend. The following words come from a summation speech given by an attorney representing a man who was suing for damages after his dog, Old Drum, was shot and killed: “The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him and the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous is his dog.” (1870 Warrensburg, Missouri, George Graham Vest).

How many of us can say they have or had a dog who helped them get through some really tough times? I know I can! They know when we are happy. They know when we are sad, sick, angry, and had a tough day. They can sense our emotions and feed off our moods. Dogs have a brand of loyalty that is very unique. Dogs are used in therapeutic situations and to comfort the terminally ill. We hear stories of how families have been saved by their dogs when their homes caught fire. You’ve all heard this one: A family dog gets displaced from his or her family on a vacation and miraculously makes its way all the way back home to his or her family on their own. It’s a connection that amazes all. The connection to their human family through their senses is incredible. Their expressions are mesmerizing at times.

Dogs have incredibly expressive eyes. I often wonder what Maddie is thinking when she looks at me with her big, brown eyes. I often think how great it would be if she could speak English… what great things she would have to say! Recently, Maddie lost two of her best friends. The sadness that her eyes showed was heartbreaking. When she is happy her eyes light up like a Christmas tree. You can see all of her moods and intentions in her eyes. Does she want to play, go to bed, go outside to lounge around, go outside to go potty, snuggle? What kind of mood is she in? Her eyes tell all.

Your dog’s manners are a reflection of you. And your manners may well influence how others see your puppy. I was brought up in a family that insisted on proper manners. This included everything from the dinner table to calling adults Mr. or Mrs. to using Aunt or Uncle when addressing your relatives. Please and thank you were, and still are, a must. We said grace before family dinners. My friends and family can attest that my Maddie has manners. She says her prayers, says grace, yes please, yes ma’am. She does not beg for food at the dinner table. (Yes, I am bragging just a bit about my four legged child!) When I tell her to focus, her eyes are glued on me ready for what I am about to say. I have taught Maddie proper manners as I would my own child. I am someone who loves to have fun with my friends and family. I am a very active outdoors person. Likewise, Maddie is a very playful, fun loving dog. She loves the water (as do I). She loves to run (as do I). She loves fire pit movie night (as do I). She loves children (as do I). Yes, she is a reflection of me and my world.

So, on this day I celebrate the birthday of my puppy dog. I can’t imagine the past seven years without her. Maddie and I have been through so much together, good and bad. She has helped me and I have helped her. Maddie is my absolute best friend! Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!

Dear Younger Me

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Dear Younger Me,

I have some things to say and I’d really appreciate it if you would listen and not act like a know-it-all teenager.

“Tight rolling” your pant legs really was not a good look for you… or anyone else for that matter. You are in for a hell of a ride. Just enjoy it! There will be hard times. Just know you get through it. You also meet some incredible people in the mean time and travel to many countries. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, the right people will love you for being exactly that. In retrospect, you are shockingly rad! Keep on keepin’ on! Stay a child as long as you can. Life is not a race. Make mud pies, it’s fun. Life is a lesson. Seek out your teachers, ask questions, have fun. Keep being awesome. Don’t be embarrassed to do karaoke, you’ll miss out on lots of fun times with friends. Plus, you’re not as bad a singer as you think you are. Well, maybe you are, but who cares. You will have a blast!

Invent the Snuggie. It’s a robe, worn backwards, made out of fleece. It’ll be a hit one day. Surprisingly, you CAN run 26.2 miles. I know, crazy right?! You will throw up in front of the brass faculty during your first, second and third Jury Recitals in college. Make sure you have a trash can next to the music stand! Don’t get talked into a perm in junior high. Bad idea! Don’t eat that burrito! Beer funnels in college will seem like a good idea at the time, but not the next day. The Powerball numbers for 4/12/2013 are 3,4,13,29,38 PB# 21.

Spend as much time as possible with your family, all of them! You will miss them tremendously when they are gone. Invent Facebook. It’s easier to stay in shape than to get back in shape. Put down the chips! Do not, under any circumstance, watch “Marley and Me”. It will break your heart! Buy Apple Inc, at $3.47/share and invest in Google.

When I look back at you, I can sum up your life so far in 5 words: I’m REALLY proud of you. Enjoy it all!

Sincerely,

The Older You

Desire: Give it some thought.

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Desire:a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome. The philosopher, Thomas Hobbes maintained that human desire is the fundamental motivation of all human action. How badly you desire something will determine how motivated you are to obtain your goal. So, to me, the question is not only what do you desire, but how badly do you want it?

This time of year, aside from the New Year’s resolution rush, fitness facilities across the country will see an increase in memberships because people desire to be healthier, skinnier or more fit. Bathing suit, boat and beach season is in the near future. For many people this is a reason to start a new work out program. But, the desire to be healthier, skinnier and more fit can not be achieved solely by joining a fitness facility or purchasing the latest home gym/workout craze videos. Nutrition plays an important part in achieving your goals. But, desire (the deep down in your gut kind of desire) is the most important factor. Wanting to be skinnier is one thing, but what is the real reason behind your desire to achieve this goal? Are you unhappy with the way you look and/or feel? Are you tired all of the time? Are you unable to do the things you want because of your current level of health? You need to ask yourself what is the true emotion behind what you desire.

No matter what it is, take some time to examine the real reason behind what you desire in your life: job, love, family, wealth, possessions, health, etc. I believe unless you understand and know what the real motivation is behind your desire, you may never achieve your goal. Yes, there are other factors that you can not control that can affect the outcome. However, if you don’t set yourself on the right path with an understanding of and answer to the age old question of “Why?” you may never be able to achieve what you desire.

When you write your “bucket list” of desires for the upcoming months, I urge you to also examine why they are important and write it down. Then, paint a clear picture of what, why and how. What do you desire, why do you desire it and how will you achieve it? Post your list where you will see it all of the time. I have posted mine on my bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker. I see them every morning and every night. It is a constant reminder of what I desire.

So, what do you desire and why?

Eat the Frog

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Well, it’s Monday morning. Are you happy about it or are you dreading it? I don’t know about you, but I have about 100 things I must accomplish today (a little exaggeration, but it feels like 100). Some of the items I like doing and some I would pay thousands of dollars if I could have someone else do them. So, the question is what order should I do them in?

A couple of things I need to do today I equate to shopping. You see, I absolutely loathe shopping. It is by far my least favorite activity. So, needless to say, there are a items on my to-do list today that I really do not want to do, but must. Time to Eat the Frog!

Yes, I said Eat the Frog. There is an old saying that “If the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that experience is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day long!” Your “FROG” is the one you are most likely to procrastinate on if you don’t do something about it now! It is also the one task that can have the greatest positive impact on your life and results at the moment. What do you do if you have two frogs or more to “eat”? Eat the ugliest one first, of course! In other words, start with the biggest, hardest, most important tasks first. Once you get these tasks out of the way, your day will become immediately easier.

Here is an excerpt from Bryan Tracy’s book, “Eat That Frog” to help you get started.

“1) Set the table (p7-12)

RULE 1 — Think on paper!
Step 1 =Decide exactly what you want
RULE 2 — One of the very worst uses of time is to do something very well that need not be done at all!
Step 2 = Write it down!
Step 3 =Set a deadline on your goal
Step 4 =Make a list of everything that you can think of that you are going to have to do to achieve your goal
Step 5 = Organize the list into a plan
Step 6 = Take action on your plan immediately!
Step 7 =Resolve to do something every single day that moves you toward your major goal
Clear written goals have a wonderful effect on your thinking. They can motivate you and galvanize you into action. They can stimulate your creativity and release your energy. They can help you overcome procrastination as much as any other factor. Think about your goals and review them daily. Every morning when you begin, take action on the most important task you can accomplish to achieve your most important goal at the moment.

Once you start moving, keep moving! Don’t stop. This decision, this discipline alone, can make you one of the most productive and successful people of your generation!”

I encourage you to pick up a copy of this book. It will guide you to becoming more efficient and learn to stop procrastinating so you can become more productive and reach high levels of performance.

EAT THE FROG!

Jennifer Mott

Here’s a cactus. Tell me about it.

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Image An applicant to the Biological Sciences program at Oxford University sits down in front of the Tutor (interviewer) and is given a cactus in a pot and a close-up photo of its surface. The Tutor states, “Here’s a cactus. Tell me about it.” What would you say? Would you talk about the large sharp spines, surrounded by lots of small hair-like spines? Would you address the problems faced by plants and animals in dry habitats? When I first saw the question, it made me think about how we see things. What do we really see when we take a hard look at something?

It’s no big secret to those who know me that I have a 6 year old black lab that is my absolute best friend and my world revolves around her. Last night, as she was asleep, I watched and wondered. What was she dreaming about? Why was her back left foot twitching? How do I explain the whimpering sounds she makes when she is asleep? What does it all mean? I’m sure I can read up on all the dog psychology and come up with an educated explanation. However, I would rather use my imagination and come up with my own story. But, what about other things? What about the bubble that surrounds our lives?

I challenge you to take a hard look at something in your presence that is simple and describe it; explain it. We all have a junk drawer. Open it up, pick out something, and take a good look at it. Give some deep thought to what it is, why do you have it, what is it’s purpose? Think about the child that keeps asking why over and over and over again. The child is forcing you to give it more thought and to keep coming up with another answer to satisfy their curiosity. Be that child and keep asking yourself why over and over and over again. With the warmer, nicer weather approaching, take some time to sit outside and observe your surroundings. REALLY look at everything. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, listen, then open your eyes. What do you hear, smell, feel? Can your explanation of all of it satisfy a child enough so they stop asking why?

Tell me about the cactus.

We have company!

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Maddie is supervising our visitors. Not much of a hunting dog is she?!